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No parking. No swimming. No fishing. No talking. No refunds. No exchanges.

No is everywhere and has a reputation as being a bad little word that stands between us and what we want.

As children No meant we were being denied an important need like no TV or no candy, or no dessert until you eat your broccoli. Oh, the humanity of it all.

When we grow up No still maintains its negative connotation and while we see and hear it on a daily basis, we have a problem using it ourselves. We know how much it hurts to be told No, and we want to avoid inflicting that pain on another.

We don’t want to risk not being liked, or admitting that we’re human and might need help. No can churn up memories of rejection and feelings of failure from within the most delicate part of our souls.

If we fear No, perhaps it is because we fail to appreciate how considerate a word it truly is. Perhaps we fear the power that it offers us. We have failed to recognize the freedom it offers as we wield it against the onslaught of a demanding world.

The topic of No has come up several times recently in casual conversation, and I think people are hesitant to use it because we are wary of denying the needs of someone else. But at what expense?

No is not a bad word. It is liberating and freeing. It is an honest word that communicates the truth of our current condition. As discussed with my friends, No helps us establish boundaries, which are extremely important. Boundaries are a very loving thing, both for ourselves and for others.

It is a loving thing to tell a person, “No, I will not help you continue your destructive behavior.”

It is an empowering thing to say, “No, I will not take on another task because I haven’t the energy to complete it to my standards.”

It is a beautifully human thing to state, “No, I’m not fine, and I could use some affection and a shoulder right now.”

No is a powerful little word allowing us to communicate honestly with each other. It may take a bit before we become comfortable saying it, but with enough practice we can do it.

We can’t let such a small word stand between us some emotional freedom, can we?