Self-fulfilling Grace

News flash: you are human and at some point in your life you will do something incredibly stupid, horribly humiliating, majestically messed-up, and/or just plain idiotic. And sometimes, you will manage to do all of the above in the same day.

But it's OK...really, it is.

The beauty of being human is that we are not perfect, and no one has the right to expect perfection from us. We are beautifully blemished and wonderfully wonky in all the right ways. Best of all, we can learn from our mistakes and grow through our weaknesses. Being wrong means we might be headed in the right direction.

Grace is one of those buzz words we hear a lot about, especially in faith-based discussions. What is grace? It's unmerited favor...it's getting something good that we don't deserve. We normally hear this when talking about God and His love for us. Grace is what allows us to have a relationship with God, even though we didn't do anything to earn it.

But grace is also something we need to give ourselves. We work hard to accomplish great things and to make people proud of us. We try to do our best and make the right decisions...but life is messy. Sometimes things just go wrong, and instead of learning from the situation we beat ourselves up.

Sometimes we just give up.

When things to wrong we need to offer ourselves a little grace and learn to see the big picture: we're human and we make mistakes. Learn from them and move on.

I guarantee that before the week is out you will do something that you wish you hadn't. You will be hard on yourself, or feel a little defeated because you should have known better. There is a chance that you could have prevented this catastrophe, but you didn't so now you have to deal with the repercussions. Time to put on the big boy/girl pants on and face the music.

But instead of being harsh...even if you deserve it, give yourself a break. Offer yourself a little bit of grace and acknowledge that you're human, that you're fantastically flawed and find something good that can come from the mess you've made.

It takes courage to put yourself in the position where you can make mistakes. It takes a brave soul to step out into the world and risk public failure. But safe is boring.

And no matter how badly you've screwed up...I will still love you and God will always love you. I promise that we're not going anywhere.

If you have trouble doing this, call me. We'll exchange stories about the silly things we've done in the past (oh, do I have some whoppers), and then we can share the lessons we've learned from these magical mistakes.

This little song from Switchfoot illustrates my thoughts on this topic rather well...so sit back and enjoy. Or jump around and sing at the top of your lungs...'cause I sure am.

Sliced, Diced...and Still Broken (You're Beautiful)

All of the diets and weight-loss fads might fix the outside...but your inside will still be bruised, beaten, and torn. No amount of cosmetic surgery or botox injections will fill that little hole in your heart that makes you cry at night when no one can hear you.

There is no physical cure for feeling rejected, no matter what the T.V. tells you. Your obsession with physical perfection will never, ever make you feel truly, deeply, and genuinely loved.

I know this isn't easy to hear, and most of you have stopped reading by now. It's alright, I understand. No really, I do. We live in a world where being young and pretty is valued above all else. Where a woman is judged by the size of her breasts rather than the size of her heart. It's easy to fall prey to the belief that if you look a certain way, love will be easy and life will be perfect. That somehow you can have the things that genetics denied you, and all will be right with the world.

But it's all a lie. A big, dangerous, and painful lie.

You can perfect the outside, but that doesn't fix what is broken on the inside. If you're lonely, lost, and feeling like you're missing out on life...then no amount of Botox is going to change that. You might look better, and feel better about yourself for a bit, but how will that last? A week? A month?

Not until you face yourself, flaws and all, will you understand your true value. Not until you embrace your uniqueness, will you learn to accept yourself.

I count myself fortunate that my faith has taught me that God loves me regardless of my physical attributes. No matter what my flaws, His love prevails...and nothing will ever change that. This is a truth that comforts me when my thoughts turn to the beauty of my youth. No matter what, I'm still beautiful...still important and valuable. In fact, I have never felt better about myself than I do now. Those who know me, the real me that dwells inside a flawed shell, are the only people worthy of letting into my life.

If you judge me by how I look, then you are not a person that I have time for because you have not learned how to truly love people. You still need to grow.

Now I'm not opposed to the occasional nip and tuck, or other physical enhancements per se...I'm a huge fan of glamor myself and partake daily of the glitz and gloss offered by the various cosmetic empires. And I certainly don't judge those who choose to go the way of the knife or needle. However, I do wonder how much of that outer work is done to cover up the inner need for love and acceptance.

I think the song by MercyMe says it best and I recommend you take a moment and give it a listen. You are beautiful, no matter what the world says. You are loved and cherished by a mighty God, and those who take the time to know you will see your value and never let you go.

Should you ever doubt your worth, give me a call. We'll share a cup of coffee and I'll tell you all of the great and wonderful things about you....namely, that you're you and no one else will ever compare. Ever. You're beautiful, just the way you are.

Cliff Diving

For most of my adult life I was a risk taker. I loved new challenges, trying new things, meeting new people, and enjoying life. I never hesitated if I saw a cliff...I just dove right off and laughed on the way down. Sometimes I hit the bottom and bruised my bum, and sometimes I caught a good wind and soared through the clouds. Either way, I loved every minute of it.

Besides, living a life of adventure would give me something to smile about if I made it to old age. Just imagine the stories I would be able to tell.

But after my divorce I felt judged and rejected. My self-esteem was bruised, my heart was battered, and I shut down emotionally. During this time I stopped taking chances out of fear of being hurt or humiliated again. I discovered ways to earn approval, and I sought praise. I was so afraid of rejection, I wanted acceptance from everyone. This felt nice for a little while, but I missed Me...and I was bored.

Thankfully my close friends stuck it out with me and reminded me that no matter how badly I screw things up, no matter how much I suck at life...God will never reject me, and He will still think I'm pretty awesome, even if others don't. This truth gave me the strength to start jumping off of cliffs again....to face life with open arms and courage, rather than fear.

One of those cliffs that needed courage was dating. I was in no mood to remarry, had no inclination of putting my heart on the line again, and certainly didn't want to be tied up in another suffocating relationship. Needless to say, when I met my husband I sucked it up and jumped. And yes, I'm still soaring with one of the world's most amazing men every created.

I know there are people who spend an enormous amount of time standing on the cliff just looking over the edge...but never finding the courage to jump. That fear of failure holds them hostage and they watch dreams die rather than take a chance.

There are negative consequences for hitting the bottom, no doubt about it. Sometimes it's public ridicule, other times it's financial failure or a broken heart.

However, there are positive consequences for soaring, like fulfilling a dream or meeting new friends.

Some guy named Newton once said that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. These reactions are often wonderful, but sometimes they really suck. Embrace it and remember that you can count on two things: your real friends will always stick by you, and God will always love you. Nothing you do will ever change this, and even if you do hit the bottom...there will be a nice, soft mattress to land on.

So, if you are standing on the cliff wondering whether or not you should jump into an adventure, remember that one day we might be sitting in our rocking chairs together and reminiscing about our past. Will you smiling and telling me grand stories, or will you be wishing you had some of your own?


(Thanks to Allison for the "great stories" reference.)