You're an Idiot

In the ancient world Roman generals would return home to joyous fanfare as they rode through the streets in triumph.  As the crowds went wild and chanted the general's name, a man would follow behind him and whisper, “You are mortal.”  The Romans didn’t want their generals to develop an enormous ego, or to forget that behind every great man is another man waiting to cut him down to size.

Literally.

We don’t need anyone to remind us that we’re mortal or be concerned that we may get too big for our britches.  In fact, we have the opposite problem.  As a culture, we have become so critical of ourselves, so quick to dismiss our worth that we are drowning in self-doubt and depression.  It’s as if we are followed around by our own little voice whispering, “You’re an idiot.  You’re not worthy.”  

And we’re believing it.

Not a day goes by without hearing someone bemoaning the 15 calories they ingested during the day, which have left them feeling guilty and glum.  Sometimes I watch experienced people second-guessing themselves out of fear that they do not have the ability to make the right decision.  All too often I see amazing people live in doubt, too paralyzed to live a life of acceptance and love.

We really need to work on this.

We are beginning a season dedicated to love and compassion (in theory) where we work to look upon our fellow humans with kindness rather than distain.  How about we make a point of doing this for ourselves as well?  Why don’t we set aside some time to see ourselves with compassion and kindness?

Why don’t we just give ourselves a break?

You are not perfect, and you never will be.  But you are so very beautiful in your humanity that I cannot imagine our world without you.

Our society of shallowness will consistently remind you that you have failed to meet the standards and that your imperfections are an abomination.  Are these the voices you really want to listen to?  Unfortunately, once we have accepted and internalized these thoughts - we are fighting against ourselves, which is a losing battle, even for those great Roman generals. 

I know it isn’t easy to change how you see yourself - we’ve all been conditioned through the years to be overly critical of our imperfections, but it can be done.  

Put aside some time every day to focus on the things that you appreciate about yourself.  Ask your friends and family how they see you - because they are looking at us through the lens of love, which gives them gentler eyes.  Write down the characteristics that you’re proud of on little pieces of paper and place them around the house, in your car, in your wallet and let them serve as a reminder that you are pretty awesome.

Life is short and we don’t get a lot of time to focus on ourselves, so when we have those spare moments on our own, let’s use them to exercise some self-compassion, some acceptance.  You will be amazed at how much brighter the day is.

And if that negative voice is still following you around, call me.  We can have some chocolate cake and coffee until there is nothing left but quiet whispers saying, “We’re so glad you’re here.”