Stealing Time

In the past few weeks I’ve developed a really bad habit. I’ve given away all of my time and forgot to save some for myself.

From the moment I wake up in the morning to that blessed hour when I fall into bed weary and spent, my time has belonged to someone else. As a graduate student I expected to have my days filled with coursework and other school-related demands. As a women I expected to have my evenings dedicated to caring for the home and ensuring things continued to run smoothly. As a writer I knew I would spend those rare hours in between classes, pounding away at my keys in hopes that the creative juices I rely on aren’t too tired to flow.

I did not expect to give away every waking second to these pursuits. I did not expect to give away all of my time, yet I have and now I must find a way to get it back before I forget why I am doing all of this.

There is a passion that drives me in my studies. For many years now I’ve had my eye on a goal and, knowing myself, I knew that I would do whatever necessary to get it all done...even if it means reading endless articles about Freud and pretending I care about him and his theories. I do not regret a moment of the hard work I’ve done.

My husband is my world and I love nothing more than to take care of him and make him smile. He is one of the hardest working and most loving people I know, and I admire all that he has accomplished. Caring for him and getting such pure devotion in return is one of the most satisfying feelings I’ve experienced.

Writing and sharing is very much a part of my identity. If I even try to imagine a world where I no longer put my thoughts to paper, where my imagination is stifled and these ideas are trapped in my mind with no means of expression...that would be a sad world for me.

So what do I do? How do I ensure that I have enough time to recharge my spirit and still meet my personal goals...without sacrificing the quality of my undertakings?

I am going to steal back my time. Little by little, minute by minute...I'm taking it all back.

I allowed other things to become a priority over my own needs and that is going to end now, right now. I cannot give outwardly without giving inwardly to myself first. I cannot send all of my energy out and expect to be filled at the end of the day. How can I offer faith and support to others if it's been days since I've meditated upon my own faith, or sought support for myself?

These past few weeks have been an eye-opener and I’ve learned a lot about how strong and resilient I really am, but I don't have to be strong all of the time. It was a lesson that I had to learn on my own, on my own terms, but I think that’s how we all learn isn’t it? We all have to navigate our own road and find the right path for ourselves.

Well, I did and I am happy to have found this new way through to tomorrow. This road works for me.

What steals your time? What empties you out so that at the end of the day you have nothing left for yourself? What are you going to do about it?

If you aren't sure how to get your time back, give me a call. We can sit quietly together and contemplate in silence, or share some cake and laughter...because it's our time and we control how we spend it.